BATMAN V SUPERMAN - WHAT IF I MADE IT?

Everyone who’s watched Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice probably knows it wasn’t exactly the film we were all hoping for. What we were hoping for was a cinematic masterpiece featuring the two most famous superheroes of all time finally sharing the big screen. What we got…was two hours of boredom followed by one of the most ridiculed scenes of all time and a twenty minute punch and explosion fest. But what if the movie was different? What if, well, what if I was the person coming up with all the ideas? I’ll let you know now, this might be a long read.

Ok, so first off, we ditch the ‘versus’ title. My version wouldn’t be a versus film. What would be the point? Superman can punch humans into atoms. Batman wouldn’t stand a chance. No. This version, my version, would be called Batman/Superman: Dawn of Justice. See? A slash makes all the difference.

Back to the actual film, it doesn’t start off with yet another showing of Batman’s parents being killed. People have seen this a thousand times and we’re all a bit bored by now. Instead, we start with a scene, perhaps one of the best scenes from the actual Batman v Superman, the scene showing Bruce Wayne’s actions during the battle of Metropolis. Not only was it almost flawlessly connected to the previous movie, but it was a great depiction of the sort of person Bruce Wayne is, showcased pretty much perfectly when he runs into the danger zone, instead of away like everyone else. Just so you have a slight clue as to what I’m on about, here’s the scene:

The only difference I would make is that the scene is being voiced over by Lex Luthor. I don’t mean Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex. No. That stays behind with the rest of the bad stuff. I mean real Lex Luthor. Someone who looks a little bit more like this…

Someone like Bryan Cranston, for instance.

(Just to be clear the rest of the cast stays the same.)

Basically he’s just saying that while Superman might not be a threat, he does have the potential to be humanity’s extinction. Lex is also talking about how he’s found something in the Indian Ocean, something none other than Kryptonite. Yes that’s from the film, but it works in this version too, so I’m keeping it. The flashback scene ends and we see Lex leaving a courtroom with a smirk on his face: He’s just been given permission to develop a weapon in case Superman ever goes evil.

And that's the film's intro. Already the villain is set up as someone who clearly has darker plans for the Man of Steel, but is masking that for the public. Batman is set up as someone who doesn't necessarily hate Superman, but definitely doesn't trust him.

Next up we have the party scene, much like the one from BVS. This is where the three main characters, Clark, Bruce and Lex are brought together for the first time.

While Bruce is there mainly for the public image, Clark is investigating Lex due to his new found Kryptonite stash. We have a scene, much like BVS, where the two meet, and Clark interviews Bruce about Lex. The questions go on, and sooner or later Batman comes up, or as Clark, and most people in this/my universe call him, The Bat, to which Bruce replies with something like ‘Batman is Gotham’s problem. I hear Metropolis has its own to deal with. Maybe you should look into that.’

*Cue Bat-smirk*

Just to be clear, at this point neither are certain the other one is Batman/Superman. They have their hunches, but they’re not certain.

Anyway, the interview goes on, when a breaking news alert comes on the TV. Clark excuses himself while Bruce watches on. What follows is basically the same Superman saving people montage from the real BVS, but without the voice overs.

This gives the viewers a chance to see the good Superman can do, instead of just seeing him destroying cities.

As the news report goes on, the montage being a collection of news pieces from the past few months perhaps, Lex comes up to Bruce at the party, trying to discuss a joint-research project. Lex is pitching the idea, but it’s clear that Bruce isn’t interested. While Lex is pitching, one of his people comes up to him and whispers in his ear. Lex leaves in a hurry, and Alfred speaks to Bruce through his ear-piece. Alfred informs Bruce what the person said, something along the lines of ‘It’s on the move.’ Bruce leaves the party in a hurry, which is followed by a mix between the Batmobile scene in BVS, and one of the most famous scenes from the Dark Knight Returns. Basically, instead of Superman stopping Batman, Batman chases Lex’s men into a run-down house. This way we get to see both the Batmobile and the nightmarish Batman in action.

In case you don’t have a clue what I’m on about, I’ll put both scenes below:

The scene ends with one of the henchmen revealing the chase was just a cover, and that the Kryptonite is still at Lexcorp under guard. Batman leaves the area, and heads to Lexcorp. He infiltrates, looking for the Kryptonite, and goes full predator in the process. Along the way he finds a door labelled 'Project Doomsday', and an un-earthly roar fills the building. Batman heads deeper into Lexcorp, and finds the Kryptonite. As he enters the lab where the Kryptonite is stored, the door shuts, and Batman is trapped. Green gas starts filtering in through the air vents. Over the intercom, Lex’s voice can be heard, saying something like ‘A gift from an old friend of yours. Dr Crane. He always said it would be helpful should the Batman come to call.’ As Batman gives into the Fear Gas, the Knightmare begins.

The version of this in BVS makes no sense what so ever, so I’ve gone and put that Scarecrow reference in to make things, well, make sense. This way it’s not so much a random premonition, but more of a ‘what is Batman afraid of?’ scenario. My version also wouldn’t focus on the whole Darkseid aspect, but more the Injustice side of things. To those of you who just read that and have no idea about any of it, just watch from 3:40 to the end.

After recovering from the gas, Batman awakes in the lab at Lexcorp, with the Kryptonite gone.

Next, we introduce another character: Lois Lane. There’s a good reason I’ve waited until now to have her in my version of the film: She’s not hugely important in my version. In this, she’s more there because of circumstance not because she’s needed. Anyway, we need to have a scene where Superman saves Bruce somehow and change his mind about him. With that in mind…

It’s the day of the first flight of a new Wayne-Tech plane. Maybe it’s the fastest commercial aircraft ever, I don’t know. That bit’s not important. What is important is that Bruce Wayne is on it, as are a group of reporters and journalists, including Lois Lane. The first leg of the journey goes fine, but something bad happens (as it always does) and one of the engines develops…malfunctions. Cue of the best Superman action sequences ever…

Basically Superman saves the plane and everyone on it, including Bruce. They talk briefly, and it’s clear Bruce’s views have changed. A bit too easily? Perhaps, but unlike Snyder, I’m not aiming to make the most confusing movie of all time. Bruce still knows Superman could be a threat, but the trust is building.

The next scene is the first scene between heroes where they’re both suited and booted, opening with a shot something like this…

Gotta love a rooftop shot.

Superman arrives, and asks Batman why he’s called him here. Called him here you ask? It’s called super-hearing. Anyway, Batman tells Superman that Lex is building a weapon to use against him. Before Superman can respond, Batman mentions that it’s likely not Kryptonite. He’s looking into it, but he thinks Lex is planning something far worse. This is also the scene where they reveal they know who the other is, with Superman quipping - that’s right, he quips in my film – that does this mean Bruce trusts him now, with Bruce replying that Clark should get back to writing his latest article. Superman hears something off in the distance, and goes and does some heroic stuff.

The next scene is where we find out what Lex is really up to. It’s revealed that during a search of the crashed Kryptonian ship, his teams discovered something, an ancient Kryptonian creature. (In my version Zod’s body isn’t turned into Doomsday, because it doesn’t make sense.) Anyway, Lex has been hard at work trying to bring this creature back to life. Anyway, Lex had finally done it, and lovingly names this creature ‘Doomsday’.

Just as a side-note to this scene, my Doomsday looks less like this…

And more like this…

It’s important to know the difference between Cave trolls and Kryptonian Abominations.

Next we see Lex planning as to how he’s going to lure Superman to fight this thing. He doesn’t want to let this creature loose in a city, after all, the only thing he wants to kill is Superman, not innocent people. He’s not a complete psycho. He plots for a while, before realising the answer.

Lex captures Superman’s mother, and interrupts every channel with a picture of her and a piece of paper pinned to her with the words ‘Save me Superman’ on it. Before he flies off to save her, Lois reminds him that he doesn’t have to do this alone, and that if he kills the men surrounding his Mum, people won’t ever trust him.

Instead, he flies over to Gotham, and activates the Bat-signal. Batman arrives, and Superman begs for Batman’s help. Knowing that Batman has no reason to say yes, Superman says something along the lines of ‘Martha needs us Bruce. She needs you.’

Ok, ok. I know what you’re thinking. Here’s the bloody Martha scene again. Just hold your horses, because while that scene is ridiculous and un-redeemable, it does give Batman one good line, which is…

‘Martha won’t die tonight’

Batman heads off to save Martha, whilst Superman heads to Lexcorp. When Batman arrives at where Martha is being held, the scene from BVS play out pretty much exactly the same, because it’s brilliant and perfect in every way.

Told ya.

Cutting back to Superman, he’s now at Lexcorp, talking to Lex about why he’s doing this. Lex starts monologue-ing, as all villains do, but only to buy time while Doomsday is prepared. As Lex’s talking begins to annoy Superman more and more, he moves towards Lex, only to hear Doomsday’s roar behind him. Lex retreats, while Doomsday and Superman begin to fight.

The fight goes on for a while, moving from Lexcorp into the streets of Metropolis. While there is a lot of destruction, in my version Doomsday doesn’t have his weird energy-shockwave power he does in BVS. It’s more of a brutal close combat fight like in the comics. Something that shows of Superman's true strength and the damage that Doomsday can do.

By the time Batman gets to the fight, Superman and Doomsday are both bloodied and bruised to within an inch of their lives. Metropolis is very quickly being destroyed and Superman knows he has to stop Doomsday. Giving it everything he has, he destroys Doomsday once and for all. Before the crowds begin to appear, Batman finds Superman in the rubble, and Superman says something like ‘There are others out there…Find them.’

The film closes with shots of Superman’s monument and funeral, much like BVS, and Bruce on the computer in the Batcave, with Alfred asking him what he’s looking for, to which Bruce replies ‘He said there were others. I’m going to find them.’ Just for fun I'll say the film ends with this shot, because it's kinda sorta immortally connected to the whole Doomsday/Superman fight...

So yeah. That's my version of Batman V Superman...I mean, Batman/Superman: Dawn of Justice. Well, those are the important bits anyway. What purpose does it serve? Absolutely none. But I was bored and this was a lot of fun to make. That’s…err…about it.