PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

"The dead have taken command of the sea. They are searching for a girl, a pearl...and a Sparrow."

Just to start this off, I know in England this instalment is called Salazar's Revenge, but I like the original title more, so I'm sticking with it. Now, to the review-y bit...

Pirates of the Caribbean, as a franchise on the whole, has had it's ups and downs over the years. The first three films, which as a side note are much older than it's feels right, are still a huge amount of fun to watch, no matter how many times you've seen them before. The forth instalment of the franchise, On Stranger Tides, failed to capture that swashbuckling spirit, and remains in a state of 'the less said about it the better'. And while this new movie is not on the same par as the first three, it does have it's good moments. Just..Make sure to go in with low expectations.

Movie number five takes place several years after the end of On Stranger Tides, with Jack Sparrow now being little more than a washed-up, out of luck pirate with no ship or crew. As the plot unfolds, a crew of ghostly Pirate Hunters from Jack's past are freed from their hellish prison, and soon begin to lay waste to any pirates standing in their way. Along for the ride is the returning Captain Barbossa, Carina Smyth, who's basically there just for a twist reveal in the film's climax, and Henry Turner, son of Will and Elizabeth, who yes, both make cameos in the film.

The plot on the whole is nothing special, as yet another mystical artefact is brought to the big screen after not being set up in any way what so ever by the previous movies. It's has it's good moments at times, but the movie's funnest scenes often aren't the ones connected most importantly to the plot. In fact, the moments when the film really begins to embrace the greatness of the first three is when something mad is happening. You know, those moments that are made solely for the enjoyment of the audience, and I for one enjoyed them.

Something the film does come equipped with is some truly brilliant CGI, which helps bring to life the villainous Captain Salazar, portrayed by Skyfall's Javier Bardem.

While Bardem gives a fairly good performance throughout, and is suitable for the story he's a part of, he doesn't quite leave the same impression as Barbossa or Davy Jones did back in the day. But there is one other scene where the film's CGI truly shines, and that's the flashback which shows a young Jack Sparrow.

I never thought a Pirates movie would bring some truly brillaint facial CGI to the big screen, but somehow it does. The sequence is flawless from start to finish, and serves as a great example of why CGI, when used properly, can be a wonderful thing.

However, there were a few down-sides to the film, and unfortunately, they were the three biggest parts of it. The two new leads, Brenton Thwaites' Henry and Kaya Scodelario's Carina for example.

Both were un-enjoyable for the majority of the film, and every inch of their characters felt like a worse-quality re-hash of the first three films' Will and Elizabeth, which felt even more ironic, given that the original duo appear. Their chemistry felt forced, and never really improved at any point in the film. That all being said, Henry's personal quest is actually quite a big part of the film, and brought some of the plot's strongest elements.

So that's two downsides of the film, and now for the third. It's a long running joke that the only character Johnny Depp can play these days is Jack Sparrow. However, we may have reached the point where can't even play Jack Sparrow anymore.

Jack...Sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow's days of cinematic glory seem a distant memory even at the end of his first scene in Dead Men Tell No Tales. In the old movies, he was witty, funny, and at some weird level, oddly clever in his own little way. But by this movie, he's been relegated to a bumbling drunk, and for no clear reason other than some hit and miss comedic moments. That being said, I did find myself smiling through most of the bank robbing scene. Now, back to the man behind the character...

I watched through the first three films recently, and the energy Depp brings to each one never stumbles, not even for a second. Even in On Stranger Tides, Depp brought Jack back to the big screen and made it feel like he had never been away. Now though...I'm not quite sure what it is, but Depp just doesn't bring the energy he once did. His performance for the majority of the film is lazy, and for a lot of scenes I found myself thinking back to better, and funnier, times. Depp, much like Jack, may have reached his sell by date.

On the whole, Dead Men Tell No Tales is not an awful film, and if anything it does a better job than the forth film did. But it's still a long way from the glory of the first three. There are funny bits here and there, and a couple of very enjoyable action scenes, but apart from that, it doesn't really shine. I kept waiting for that moment where everything kicked up a gear, but it never really came. The plot on the whole is average at best, and the absence of Gore Verbinski from the Director's chair is clear as day, and not in the good way. However, the ending was actually quite good, and for a brief moment returned the series to it's former glory.

Oh, and don't worry. The Black Pearl does sail the seas once again, and it'll fill you with a lot of happy nostalgia.

"Pirate's life..."